The Carpet Cleaner

This is a poem about an unsung hero: the carpet cleaner. I wanted to tell people about how great this profession was. Share this with a friend. Together we can spread the word about the awesomeness of carpet cleaners!

The Carpet Cleaner

I stood there with my good ol' vacuum.
The Carpet was full of dirt gloom. 

 I had never seen such a dirty floor.
I prepared myself to run out the door.
A carpet cleaner, this was my job.

My partner's name was Frank, mine was Bob.

The carpet was tan, though it was supposed to be white.

To clean that carpet, we'd be there all night.

I looked at Frank, he looked at me. 

I took a deep breath and started to clean. 

As I vacuumed and scrubbed, the carpet looked fine.

On this carpet, you could even dine!

We finished at midnight, I heard the bell.

We were done, and the carpet looked swell!

Thanksgiving

Hello everyone! Happy Thanksgiving! If you want a writing assignment today, here: write about what you are most thankful for. Pretty easy right? I wish I had some cool Thanksgiving tradition to start at Words on a Page. If you can think of a good one, tell me! Ideas for Christmas are welcome too! We have some stuff that should be posted soon... well, soon-ish. I'm going to have to make this short, it's time for Thanksgiving pie!

Family Game Night

Hey ya'll. Sorry for not posting in so long, I had a post written down somewhere and it disappeared. Sometimes disorganization is a blessing, other times a curse. Because I have lost my writing a story post, you get to read another story I wrote. For some reason my short stories are all comedies. I don't know why, and I'm not complaining.

 Family Game Night

 Written November 19, 2010

          So this is how it was. They had turned against me. This was war! They brought it upon themselves, really. They were so eager at first, it was a game to them. Now they were fidgeting nervously, waiting for their cards to be dealt.
          We were in a dimly lit basement room. The tension was so thick you would have needed a jackhammer to cut through it. A crowd of six or seven people were watching and occasionally whispering to one another. Were they placing bets? It was anybody's game, really.
          I motioned for the crowd to be silent. My opponents and I just sat there. The dealer slid us the cards, keeping track of how many each person got. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Seven cards. I could taste victory on the tip of my tongue. Though the taste was very faint, it was there.
          I arranged the cards in my hand, careful not to show anyone. I was hoping I had the advantage. As my opponents -- or enemies, rather-- scanned the cards they held, I did the same. The person across the table laid down a few cards. I glared at him and laid down a pair of four of hearts.
         The game was nearing its end. It seemed like so much more than a game! The kid across from me asked in his nasty, menacing voice, "Got any twos?" I looked at him for a long time. Then a slow smile stretched across my face. "Go fish," I replied. He laid his head face down on the card table in defeat. That was it. I had won family game night.



Let me know how you like the story! It's not that hard! You can rate it, click one of the check boxes, or if you're really daring, you can comment! And if you are just plain crazy you can share this story with your friends and let them know about how much you love Words on a Page!
         

Lemon Crayon

 My dad requested I wrote a story about a guy names Lemon Crayon. So I did. And I just HAD to share it...

Lemon Crayon


My full name is Lemon Crayon Joe Bob Thompson…

My parents met 34 years ago. My mom was an aspiring artist. My dad was not.
He wanted to be a professional carpet cleaner. They were going to the same college.
I know what you’re thinking, a carpet cleaner in college? Well, yes. Anyways, my
mom was in art class drawing and what not and my dad needed a staple gun from the
art department when mom dropped her lemon colored crayon. Dad picked it up and
handed to her. Blah, blah, blah.
Two years later, I was born. My parents wanted a name that was unique. They
went through names such as: Yosemite, Chewbacca, Duck Man, Sardine etc. And then
my mom said to dad with a gleam in her eye, “Let’s name him Lemon Crayon!”
My dad loved the name and when I was born, mom told all the nurses that my
name was to be Lemon Crayon. They didn’t believe her. Who would? It was weird!
When I was in middle and high school and decided to have my friends come
over (they simply called me “L.C.” or “Thompson”) mom and dad would go on AND ON
about how wonderful my name was and scolded my friends for not calling me Lemon
Crayon.
Bullies would put me on their resume. Kids went as me for Halloween. Having a
weird name was known as “having a Lemon Crayon name”.It was not fun to be me.

When I was applying to go to college, I was usually turned down because no one
believes you when you say your name is Lemon Crayon. When I did get into college I
ended up in an art school. On the first day of class I was praised for changing my name
to an art medium. I said that I didn’t really care about art but my parents wanted me in
college and I just happened to be named after a crayon. I got kicked out of the school.

Finally a REAL college accepted me and I learned how to manage a business. I
joined a company that makes fancy granola. I remember my first meeting a.k.a. one of
the most humiliating days of my life.
“Okay guys!” My boss told us. “This is a huge meeting. If it goes well our granola
could be advertised by none other than Abigail Douglas!” She was a spokes person who
was highly sought after in the world of breakfast and snack food. “Don’t blow it! If you
do…Just don’t, okay?”
We all sat around the long conference table. I heard Ms. Douglas’ voice on the
other side of the line. I was in charge of marketing, so I was supposed to do the talking.
“Ms. Douglas, I’m the head of the marketing department for Yummy Granola,

have you read over the contract?”
“Yes Mr. - what’s your name?” She had to be kidding. If I said my real name then
the whole deal would be over and done for.
“Mr. Thompson.” I said
“I don’t call people Mr. It’s so old fashioned.” What?! Didn’t she know that my
name humiliated me?
“Lemon Crayon,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“Lemon Crayon,” I mumbled again.
“Speak up! Do you want to have me represent Yummy Granola or what?”
“LEMON CRAYON!!!” I screamed.
“Is this a joke?” She asked angrily.
“No! You can call me L.C….”
I heard a click on the line. She hung up. Everyone in the room looked at me. No
one said anything. And then my boss, Mr. Charles, said something so quietly I could
barely hear.
“I will give you a five second head start.”
I tried to figure out what he meant. I knew when he jumped out of his chair and
ran after me. I was glad Mr. Charles didn’t work out. I could out run him. But when I
reached a dead end he caught me. “Lemon Crayon, you ARE FIRED!!!”

The next day I met a girl at the unemployment office. Her name was Fish Pie. We
got along great and eventually got married and had two kids named Yoda and Scooby-
Doo. They got bullied all the time and we all lived miserably ever after.

THE END

Tell me what you think!

My note book

I have a notebook. It's a plain, red, 70 page notebook that I got for about 50¢. I have filled up about half of the notebook already. Every time I need to write something down, I write it in that note book and put the date at the top. The notebook has everything from stories to to do lists. Try this for yourself. Use only one notebook for all the stuff you write down (except for homework) and write the date on every page. Once you fill your notebook, get another one and do the same thing. Put all of the note books you've filled on a shelf or in a bin so you can look back at them every so often. After you finish a note book write the date of the first entry and last entry on the cover with a marker. It would say something like this:

2010

August 3-November 29

You could make a new years tradition of going through all of the things you wrote in the past year. Encourage friends and family to do the same. You don't have to write in it everyday. Just when you remember. You don't even have to write a complete short story. One of the pages in my notebook says nothing but "Time and Space" at the top. I have stories in there with no beginning or end. Write whatever you want! I also have pages where I simply wrote about a character. If an idea is nagging at your mind, write it down! Your note book will be full in no time.

Two paragraphs.... close enough...

Comedy, Drama and why not to make fun of school assignments.

Today I was too lazy to write a "writing a story" writing assignment. So I'm going to write about nonsense and why I love it.

The other day I made a goofy little CD for myself. I sang a bung of goofy songs I made up, put them on the computer and put them on my iPod. The CD is just plain weird. My favorite song is called "He Probably Hates You Anyways". The song makes absolutely no sense. Which is why I love it!

What does my strange music have to do with writing? Nonsense. Don't be afraid to write things that are.... out there. I'd say about two thirds of my writing is about goofy things. Like my songs, who finds a song about marring Ronald McDonald interesting and profound? If someone did I would like to suggest seeing a psychiatrist. Your writing doesn't nessecarily have to be serious. Sometimes you do have to write serious things, which is very difficult for me! I was assigned some poorly written, over-dramatic, oddly worded books for book reports. I wanted so badly to make fun of them in my writing... but alas, I could not. Instead I made it sound over-dramatic. My friend got a kick out of what I wrote and I still got a good grade because it did sound serious. I'm not giving you a way to do your homework. Don't try that at home! Or school. Or if your homeschooled I guess that would apply to both...

Drama can be written as comedy. You can completely turn it around. Which is fun to do. Here comes the assignment: Write a short piece on any subject, don't make it longer that a page. Write it and make it sound incredibly serious and dramatic. Then write essentially the same thing, only funny. Show both to someone with a good sense of humor. If they don't laugh, write the second one again.
When that is done, you can submit your work to our reader writings page. 

Short, funny things are probably my favorite thing to write. Every time I hear something I think is funny (and would fit on a T-shirt) I write it down. I'm filling up a note book with things like "There's a pachyderm on my trachea" and "suddenly a plane landed in a field and out came Abraham Lincoln in a polka-dot dress, doing the cha-cha". Even now I have "I said sophisticated, not English" written on my hand. And my the way, that isn't an insult to the English, I was trying to act sophisticated and I started talking with an English accent. 


Comedy is also about the words you choose. If you said "last night I ate salsa before bed which made me have a dream about Justin Bieber wearing a tutu" that's funny, but it might be funnier to say "Last night I had a dream that Justin Bieber of all people was in my ballet class. He can NOT pirouette! That'll teach me to eat salsa before bed!" 


This post is getting really long. I'm going to keep writing!


Making fun of things is also good for comedy. Be VERY, VERY careful! Don't make fun of a person. Unless that person is yourself. If you resort to poking fun at things, ask close friends or your mom to make sure it doesn't sound offensive. The way things are written and the way things are read are very different!


Two writing assignments in one day:
That one I mentioned before and write a piece of comedy writing about a famous person from the past (like a LONG time ago) and write a story centered on the comic situations they would get in. (I just ended a sentence with a preposition... ignore that.) Submit your writing to the reader writings page and/or comment! 


In retrospect, it would've been a lot easier just to write a "writing a story" blog post. I'm not looking over what I wrote because that will be a lot more work. Sorry for poor grammar and spelling and whatever. Have a nice day.

Writing a Story: Research

There are some fictional books where you just can't get around it. In order to make you book good you have to do some research. There are different approaches to research. My approach seems to be: get a bunch of library books on the subject, read my favorite one and return them all before I have to pay a fine. Other people just look it up on the Internet. They do it the easy way, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes researching a topic in your story is a good way to get away from the story, but not too far away.

How much do you actually need to research something? It depends. Say you're writing about a medieval princess. You would probably need to know the basic build of a castle, jobs of a royal family, duties of a lady-in-waiting, the clothing worn in that era ect. Chances are if you're writing a book about something you have at least a little bit of knowledge about what you are writing.

There was that movie that just came out. Legend of the Guardians or what ever it was? The one about the owls? Anyways, when I was watching the movie I noticed how detailed everything was (probably because I was wearing 3D glasses) and I wondered how long it would have taken, not just to create the art work, but to learn about owls. Everything was very precise. Someone must have spent hours and hours in a library reading about owls and how they fly and eat and everything else. I suppose they had to find an expert as well. The movie was based on a book, which makes it even more incredible, in my opinion.

That's all I have to say! Sorry this came out so late, I've been so busy and everything has been beyond hectic! I'm hoping to post more often in the days to come. Thank you for reading!

Charlotte's Arrival

Hello! My pen name is Charlotte M. Clementine.
I am a new Words on a Page author. My experience in writing is not incredible. I enjoy writing school assignments and so forth, so my invitation to Words on a Page sounded like an awesome opportunity. This is my chance to learn about blogging and further my knowledge in creative writing. I am so excited to provide stories and writing advise for all of you wonderful readers!

-Charlotte M. Clementine

P.S. I LOVE COOKIES!!!

We all know one of those people. They're the strange ones. Chances are you know someone like this. You may very well me strange yourself! Those people are odd, weird, crazy and possibly insane. You may not be friends with someone like that. Why? Because they're just not normal! But the odd ones seem to be the most entertaining. You may jump up and down for joy when your particularly peculiar friend calls, because you know he's going to tell some crazy story about ordering from McDonalds. Or maybe he'll just tell a normal story and make it sound like the funniest thing ever.

The weird ones don't say "cool" or "awesome" or "wow". They come up with different expressions that know one else would think to say.

The weird ones are a good kind of weird. They are people who can inspire, make you laugh and keep you on your toes. They are the ones who become characters in books, the subject of elementry school speeches and are some of the most amazing people on the face of the planet. They are the ones who you can learn from, they know how to put art into life and life into art.

Next time some one says you are crazy, you can look them in the eye with your head held high and say: "Thank you". Thank you awesome friends, with your quirks and oddities. That is what makes you special, and that is what makes you awesome. Stand proud and declare your strangeness... or not... that's up to you.
Because you know when to be weird and when not to be which sets you apart from the rest even more.

The End

Please tell us your thoughts on this fun little thing I wrote (you can tell that I have too much free time).  I would love to know your thoughts! You can tell us about how we perfectly described you or a friend. Or maybe share this with your friend to let her know how AMAZINGLY EPIC he or she is. In short: comment!

-Vladimir

Writing a story: when to revise

 You've written about a chapter of your book. You decide to go back to make some corrections. You keep doing this every few pages. Uh-oh, if you have to make all of these corrections your story just isn't good enough, so you quit. Sound familiar? I think I might have some ideas to help.

These suggestions are just for people who have tried everything and this is their last resort to finally getting past chapter one. It worked for me and hopefully it will work for you. Every writer is different, so these may not be any help. But they're here if you need them.

• The Plot: Forget about the plot! If you are expecting to write about a big exciting thing that's going to happen on page 137, chances are the people who bought your book are expecting to read about it. Frankly, planning out the entire plot of the story just makes it too predictable. "Go with the flow" is a good  way to put it. Let the characters and events lead you through the story, instead of you leading them. 
• Deceiving Yourself: You may think something like: "I think I may have this character's name  wrong, I should go back and check." DON'T!!! Your just thinking that because you want to read what you've written and see how good it is. If you really care that much if the random girl's name is Jan or Jane, you can make a little side note. Or if the writing program you use doesn't have that, use a piece of notebook paper and make notes as worries come to mind. 
• When to Revise: Revise when you're all done! Don't freak yourself about if the story is any good, or if your characters are described well or whatever. I think you can wait. If you MUST have it revised right away, have a friend do it for you. 

Writing a Story: the story

I find that the best way for me to write is to write it all out, don't look back and don't look ahead. Remember everything you learned in school about always making an outline for your work? Don't do it if you're writing a fictional story. BAD IDEA.... usually. It works for some people to make a vague outline and know what's going to happen. That works for some. And that's okay. Write a few short stories first. Try a different style of planning for each one.

There are some things to think about before writing a story such as:

• 1st person, 3rd person (or even, 2nd person)
• When does this take place?
• Where does this take place?
• What kind of writing do I want to use?

Now I'll explain each one.

1st person, 3rd person (or even, 2nd person) The point of view you use to write is very important! You probably know from school which one is which. Make sure you don't randomly go between persons. Wait until the next chapter or section if you are going to switch.

When does my story take place? 
The sixties? Medieval times? The future? The present? Outside of time? You decide! A clever way to make it so nothing has to be historically correct is to put it outside of history. Don't mention any famous people or historical events, that way no one really knows when they are, or even if  in a real place.


Where does my story take place?
A magical kingdom, a science lab, a small town in the middle of Kentucky? Anywhere! But you have to make it fit the story.  

What kind of writing do I want to use? What kind of feeling do you want conveyed through your writing? Do some research on old English literature, the style is very interesting and I find myself using some techniques derived from it.

If you have anything to add, ask me, tell me about, or a story to submit, just comment! And don't forget to visit the reader writings page! I can't wait to hear from you!

-Vladimir Malcolm